When a sales rep abruptly quits, but then wants to come back.

Published: Wed, 12/22/21

December 22, 2021

Welcome back. It’s Christmas week, so make sure you don’t accidentally get caught under the mistletoe with your sales manager – it could get awkward. This week, we’ll take a look at why rejection stings so much (and what you can do about it), help a sales manager decide whether to take back a sales rep who left on bad terms, and recall a story of deception in our Sales Fails section. Let’s go.

NUMBER OF THE WEEK

The average sales rep’s tenure (measured in months).

Source: DePaul University

SALES ROUNDUP

Here’s what’s happening in the sales world this week:

Are there similarities between sales and college sports recruiting? A recent article in Swimming World Magazine makes the case that the two are one and the same, outlining the parallels between recruiting exceptional swimmers and selling a product. We can think of one obvious difference though: most salespeople wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a speedo. You can read the article here.
A recent press release addressed the “dangers of long-term working from home for salespeople’s mental health,” calling out the high-sociability of salespeople, and the detrimental effects of spending too much time alone. The CEO of a UK firm raised the issue, making the case that “Almost inevitably, those doing sales jobs from home see their productivity dip – and that adds to the pressure on their mental wellbeing as well.” You can read the full release here.
A fascinating article in The Conversation tackled the reasons why people still fall for influencers, salespeople, and politicians who lie. While it’s a bit complicated, the premise goes like this: “An honest adviser, when ignored, is less effective (than their dishonest rival) in persuading the client.” So if somebody is on the fence, or not already committed, the person who is loud, exaggerates, and lies, is likely to win out. You can read the article which sums up the study here.

FEATURE

The scientific reason why rejection hurts so much – and what salespeople can do about it.

There’s no getting around it: if you work in sales, you have to deal with a massive amount of rejection. Take away the rejection, and the job becomes easy – make some calls, everybody says yes, direct deposit, then it’s straight to the Porsche dealership (or to the Vanguard Index Fund if you’re the responsible type).

But unless someone develops a product with a hundred percent close rate, or unless you’re a 6-foot-tall fashion model, rejection is something we’re all going to have to deal with. And no matter how thick-skinned you might be, it still stings, especially when you’ve spent a long time working with a prospect – time you’ll never get back, not to mention a commission check you’ll never get to cash.

We wanted to understand the evidence-based reasons for why rejection can be so difficult for people to deal with. Millions of people have washed out of sales because of it, and plenty of others can’t find true job satisfaction partly because of the constant rejection. So we did a little research, and here’s what we found.

Why rejection hurts so much

Here’s an important thing to understand: rejection causes literal (emotional) pain. When scientists placed people into functional MRI machines and asked them to recall a recent rejection, they found something incredible. The same areas of the brain that become activated when we experience physical pain became activated when people thought about a recent rejection. So rejection isn’t just something that happens, it’s something we actually feel.

But why?

Evolutionary psychologists think they have the answer, and it goes back to when we were hunter gatherers who lived in tribes. Since it was impossible to survive on our own back then, getting kicked out of the tribe amounted to a death sentence. In order to avoid that fate, we developed something akin to a warning system to alert us that we might be in danger of getting cancelled by our fellow cave-dwellers – and that warning system was rejection.

Those who were more sensitive to rejection were more likely to change their behavior and adapt to stay “in” with the group, and, over time, their genes were passed down, while those for whom rejection wasn’t painful were weeded out and probably killed by a lion or a hundred- foot-long alligator (don’t fact check this part).

But now, those feelings of rejection still cause immense pain and suffering, even if there’s almost zero risk of dying because of it. Rejection can affect mood, damage self-esteem, cause aggression and anger, and lead us to become self-critical – all things that can make picking ourselves back up and prospecting much more difficult.

What we can do about it

Thankfully, there are ways we can overcome our caveman (or cavewoman) brains, as difficult as it might sound. And in a professional context, the first thing we need to understand is that it’s not personal. Despite what the skin-tight-shirt-wearing “sales hustlers” tell you on Instagram (before trying to sell you their heavily-discounted course), not every deal can be closed. Buying decisions (like people) are complicated, and there are plenty of reasons why someone might not buy, 99% of which have nothing to do with you as a person, truly.

Another great way to get over the sting of rejection (and we at The Quota really like this one) is to think about our previous successes. No matter who you are, you’ve done something that you’re proud of, whether it’s closing a complicated deal, landing a job you thought was out of your league, or overcoming adversity in your personal life. If you’ve done it before, you can absolutely do it again. And this isn’t a motivational meme – it’s the truth. It can even help to write out your successes, or other things you’re proud of. Sometimes, seeing it from an outside perspective is just what’s needed to put things in context.

Lastly, you need to counter the isolating effects of rejection. Our cave-brains want us to feel alone and despondent whenever we feel rejection. But the reality is that rejection is part of the sales game, and no one understands it better than your coworkers. If you’re feeling down, use the opportunity to connect with someone, whether it’s telling them about it, or even helping them with a problem they’re having to get your mind off it and to keep yourself from spiraling.

Conclusion

Sales is a tough gig, and one of the biggest reasons for that is rejection. But if you’re going to do the job – whether you’ve made it your career, or are in it for just a few more years – then do it well. Once you understand why rejection makes you feel so bad, you can learn how to overcome it. Then you can limit the damage, recover sooner, and stop wasting time with negativity.

MEME OF THE WEEK

Source: Facebook -- Sales Humor

QUIZ

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, how many people in the US work in sales?

A. 13,120,320

B. 8,955,188

C. 18,955,640
D. 12,270,000

SALES FAILS

Each week, we bring you the most cringe-worthy sales moments from across the web. To submit your sales fail story for consideration, click here. (Don't worry, you'll remain completely anonymous).

“I have been in the mortgage industry for almost two decades. A few years back, a woman called in who wanted to do a cash-out refinance of her home. She and her husband were pulling out almost forty grand, and the money was going to remodel a bathroom and pay off about twenty thousand dollars in credit card debt. She was really easy-going and fun to talk to. She would joke about playing a ton of scratch tickets and talked about how she always used a nickel to scratch, and that you should never use any other coin.

“Anyway, the process went well. She sent us all the docs we needed, and her appraisal came back right on target. Finally, it was time for the closing. We had her come into the office to do the paperwork. I decided to sit in with her, her husband, and the attorneys since she was my customer. She was really friendly but looked different than I expected (people always look different than they sound over the phone) but her husband wasn’t super friendly. I don’t think he trusted mortgage companies (this was after 2008).

“So they were both signing the paperwork, and everything was going fine until they got to the page that showed the breakdown of where the cash-out was going. We, as the lender, were going to pay off the credit card debt directly, so everything was spelled out in the document. Her husband takes one look at it and says, “What’s this?” and she says, “Honey, just sign it. Just sign it. Don’t make a scene.” It becomes obvious that he had no idea that his wife had racked up all this credit card debt. She asked us to give them a minute, so we left and listened to them screaming at each other from outside the room. Finally, she called us back in and they signed the paperwork. The husband didn’t make a single peep the rest of the time, and left the second he was done signing. She apologized on her way out and looked like she was going to cry. I never heard from her again.”

Anonymous, 46 Connecticut

GRAPH OF THE WEEK

Source: Instagram Poll

ASK THE QUOTA

Want to submit a question and be featured in our advice column? Click here. (Don't worry, you'll remain completely anonymous).

Dear Quota Team,

Hey guys, love the newsletter. I’m a sales manager for a relatively small tech company. We have a free product for the developer community with a ton of users, but I’m one of the managers on the paid side, running a team of BDRs – young folks just starting their careers.

The reason I’m writing is because I have a problem. I have my own opinion on which direction I want to go in but wanted to get an outside perspective. A few months ago, one of my BDRs left to work for another (non-competing) company. He resigned professionally, put in his two weeks and stayed all the way through. But a few weeks later, another BDR, who was actually one of my best guys, left to go work for that same company. Obviously, he was either recruited through the other rep who left or he was the one who initiated the move – but that part isn’t super important to me.

The problem was how he resigned. He emailed me on a Wednesday morning and said he was putting in his notice effective immediately. He thanked me and was polite, but gave no notice, just up and quit. I sent a pretty strict reply, explaining that the way he was leaving was unprofessional, and he replied with a short apology. One of my other team members who is friends with him on Instagram saw that he went down to party in Miami that weekend, so I think that’s why he was trying to get out of work.

Here’s where it gets bizarre. A week ago, he emailed me asking if he could come back. I couldn’t believe it. He said that the new job wasn’t what he expected and that he made a mistake and that he knows he messed up but he really wants us to give him another shot. This would be an easy decision, except the guy is really good. Like, our best BDRs by far – he’s a natural. What should I do? If we take him back, aren’t we just rewarding bad behavior? What are your thoughts?

Indecisive in New York

Dear Indecisive,

Let’s not be too hard on your boomerang BDR. Who among us hasn’t impulsively quit their job to spend the weekend partying in Miami? Leaving a job without thinking it through is practically a rite of passage for young, energetic sales reps with their whole future ahead of them.

All kidding aside, we understand your concern. While it’s not unheard of for salespeople to come back after leaving for greener pastures, it’s pretty rare, especially if they quit in a way that indicates they had no intentions of returning, as your guy did.

So what to do? We think the answer is actually pretty simple. Ask yourself the following question: Can I work with this BDR without holding a grudge? We’re not talking about occasionally giving him shit for leaving, that’s perfectly okay (possibly a requirement?) We mean a real, personal grudge. Because if you can’t let it go, then you definitely shouldn’t bring him back.

But judging by some of the things you said about him, it sounds like you understand the value he brings to the table. He was your best BDR. He gets results. And in a sales environment, that’s worth a lot. He swallowed his pride, took responsibility, and apologized. If you can let it go (and we think you can), then it’s not a difficult decision at all. Bring him back!

Quiz Answer: A

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Today's email was written by Ken Kupchik, Steve Rado, and Emily Ann Hill.

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