COMMON QUESTIONS:

1. Is this a sales pitch?

YES 

2. Will the book help me close more deals?

NO

3. Is there any actionable advice in the book?

NOT REALLY

4. Will it make me laugh?

VERY LIKELY

5. How much does it cost?

LESS THAN 20 BUCKS! 

6. Well what’s the book about then?

HERE’S THE DESCRIPTION FROM THE PUBLISHER:

Ahhh, the modern workplace: a cauldron of stress and anxiety. From the moment we accept a new role, we’re thrown into a world of competing personalities, shifting protocols, and an endless stream of emails, Slack messages, and Zoom calls, all of which serve to distract us from the things we truly want to be doing, like eating Thai food and sleeping until noon.

I Hope This Email Finds You Never puts aside the motivational screeds, productivity hacks, and pop-science, and focuses instead on those things in the workplace that truly cause us grief—like a coworker eating an apple during a video call—in a lighthearted, entertaining, and (most importantly) cynical way.

Some things you’ll learn:

· How long you can get away with being "new" until you're held accountable

·  How to make it look like you’re sorry without giving up any power

·  How to find a workplace friend and make a workplace enemy

·  Organizing your calendar while leaving time to cry

·  Camera position: how to set up your laptop for maximum dominance

·  The rules of the kitchen (stealing someone’s yogurt is literally a crime)

·  Writing a letter of resignation when you’ve already been resigned from day one

If you're still not convinced, here's the table of contents:

Part 1: Employee Orientation (The Descent)

Part 2: General Workplace Etiquette (No Eye Contact Before 11 AM)

Part 3: Working Remotely (Wink, Wink)

Part 4: Coworkers (Getting Along With Your Fellow Inmates)

Part 5: Meetings (Whose Foot Is That?)

Part 6: Surviving the Day to Day (Lord, Give Me the Strength)

Part 7: Termination of Employment (Let's Pretend We Liked Each Other)

Grab your copy here.

Not compelling enough? Here are some graphics from the book:

And if that still didn’t do it for you, then maybe you can just buy a copy out of the goodness of your heart and give it a friend, a coworker, or just set it on fire in your backyard!

In any case, thanks for taking the time to read this entire email, and we’ll see you tomorrow for our regularly scheduled newsletter!

- The Quota Team