The real reason why prospects ghost you

Published: Wed, 12/17/25

Updated: Wed, 12/17/25

December 17, 2025

Welcome back to The Quota, the sales newsletter you don’t have to wrap, even though it’s always a gift. We’re taking the next two weeks off for the holidays, and will see you again in January. In the meantime, enjoy this week’s goodies!

NUMBER OF THE WEEK

8% of companies report sales cycles of over five months.

Source: Databox

SALES ROUNDUP

Here’s what’s happening in the sales world this week:

A New Jersey car salesman who stole money from an elderly customer and received more than $500,000 in phony COVID relief has been sentenced to prison. In 2023, an 85-year-old customer presented the salesman with a check for the purchase of a car. The salesman later used the account and routing number on the check to initiate unauthorized transactions on the customer’s bank account totalling more than $180,000. You can read more about it here.
A former salesman at a Nissan dealership in College Park, Maryland, has been convicted on 17 charges in a vehicle theft scheme. John Massaquoi faces 20 years in prison after using his access as an employee to steal cars from Darcars Nissan. On Nov. 23, 2024, Massaquoi checked out keys from the dealership's key locker, drove three cars off the lot and returned on foot. Multiple days later he returned and stole another car. You can read more about it here.

FEATURE

Photo “Ghosts” by Sean MacEntee, Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Why Prospects Ghost (Even When They Like You)

Every salesperson knows about the deal that doesn’t technically die. The discovery call went well. The demo landed. Next steps were agreed on with a calendar invite and a casual “Looking forward to it.” Then the emails slow down. Then they stop. No breakup note. No objection. Just quiet.

Getting told “no” is part of the job. Getting ghosted is different. We tend to treat ghosting as bad manners or buyer indifference. In reality, it’s usually something more boring and more human. Ghosting is often the lowest-effort emotional option available.

Why Silence Feels Easier Than Saying No

From the buyer’s perspective, rejecting a vendor isn’t neutral. Saying “no” creates finality. It closes a door. It invites follow-up questions. It risks conflict, both with the seller and internally.

Silence avoids all of that.

Behavioral researchers describe this tendency as decision avoidance. When choices feel uncomfortable or risky, people default to inaction. Add status quo bias, the natural pull to leave things as they are, and silence becomes the path of least resistance.

There’s also loss aversion at play. Even when a buyer knows they’re unlikely to move forward, explicitly rejecting a deal feels like giving something up. Staying silent preserves optionality. It lets them believe they might come back later, even if they never do.

Why Ghosting Is Rational in Modern Buying

Buying decisions today rarely belong to one person. Committees, budgets, legal reviews, security checks, and internal politics all increase the personal risk of being wrong. A buyer who champions a deal and fails owns that failure. A buyer who never commits doesn’t. Silence delays accountability.

That’s why ghosting tends to show up more often in later deal stages. Early ghosting usually means low interest. Late-stage ghosting usually means the deal became complicated. Something internal shifted. A priority changed. The safest move became waiting.

From the buyer’s side, disappearing can feel like a temporary pause. From the rep’s side, it feels like falling into a void.

Why Ghosting Hurts More Than Rejection

The stress of ghosting isn’t about losing the deal. It’s about losing certainty. Psychologists call this ambiguous loss. It’s the same discomfort people feel when something ends without clear closure. The brain struggles to process unresolved outcomes. Rejection closes a loop. Ghosting leaves it open.

Sales compounds this with variable reinforcement, the same mechanism that keeps people hooked on slot machines. Every unanswered email still carries the possibility of a reply. That possibility triggers hope, which keeps reps checking inboxes, rewriting follow-ups, and replaying conversations.

The deal isn’t alive, but it’s not dead either. It occupies mental real estate far longer than a clean loss ever would.

The behavior isn’t unique to selling. Dating apps have normalized ghosting. When options feel infinite and communication is asynchronous, disengaging quietly becomes socially acceptable.

The Hard Truth Reps Eventually Learn

Ghosting isn’t random, and it isn’t always a judgment on the rep or the product. Silence is information. Early silence usually means low urgency. Late silence usually means high internal risk. In both cases, the buyer is choosing emotional safety over clarity. They aren’t rejecting the seller as much as avoiding discomfort.

Understanding that doesn’t make ghosting feel any better, but it does help turn silence from a personal slight into a signal.

What This Means for Salespeople

The emotional cost of ghosting comes from misreading it. Treating silence as a personal failure magnifies its impact. Interpreting it as avoidance changes the story.

Ghosting isn’t about disrespect. It’s about friction. It’s what happens when saying nothing feels easier than saying no. And in a job built on momentum and closure, that silence will always sting more than rejection.

MEME OF THE WEEK

Source: Instagram -- Crushing_quota

QUIZ

Which of these well-known cars is being discontinued in 2026?

A. Ford Explorer
B. Ford Escape
C. Volkswagen Jetta
D. Audi A4

SALES FAILS

Each week, we bring you the most cringe-worthy sales moments from across the web. To submit your sales fail story for consideration, click here. (Don't worry, you'll remain completely anonymous).

It was my first week at a new company. I was doing life insurance sales. I was still in the phase where everyone pretends to be helpful. One of the more tenured reps pulled me aside and said he wanted to do me a favor. He had a lead I should call. He told me to mention that “John” recommended I reach out. The prospect would definitely know who John was. It would feel warm. Easy win.

I trusted him because I was new and wanted to seem coachable. As I was making the call, I realized that half the sales floor was watching, which seemed suspicious. I did the intro exactly as instructed and dropped John’s name early. There was a pause on the other end of the line. Then the prospect asked, very calmly, which John I meant.

I didn’t know his last name. I hadn’t even asked. I just froze and said “uhhh” while my brain tried to invent a last name in real time. Behind me, the team lost it. They were all laughing their heads off. The prospect hung up. The laughter got louder after I hung up and people started coming up to my chair and patting me on the back. I learned two things that day: never trust a first-week favor, and always get a last name.

Anonymous Location Withheld

GRAPH OF THE WEEK

Source: LinkedIn Poll -- December 2025

WORTH A PEEK

Our friends at Qwilr made a fun, arcade-style game that turns your career into a playable experience. Just copy and paste your LinkedIn URL onto the page and then sit back and kill a few hours playing—like we did when we were kids. Play the game here.

ASK THE QUOTA

Want to submit a question and be featured in our advice column? Click here. (Don't worry, you'll remain completely anonymous).

Dear Quota Team,

I’m an AE at a Series B SaaS company and I’ve been thinking about posting occasionally on LinkedIn or X about sales. Not inspirational or motivational content, just things I’m seeing in deals and lessons learned along the way.

I mentioned it to my CRO, and he shut it down fast. He said posting sales content looks amateurish, serious sellers don’t need a personal brand, and it can reflect poorly on the company.

Now I’m torn. I don’t want to hurt my reputation internally, but it also feels like having a point of view is becoming more common in sales. Is he right? Should I drop it?

Timid in Location Withheld

Dear Timid,

It only makes sense if you actually have something to say. If you don’t have a unique learning, real pattern recognition, or a point of view that pushes back on the default narrative, forcing content will feel fake. People (and customers) can usually tell.

If you want to do it, be restrained, specific, and honest. No motivation. No recycled advice. No pretending you’ve solved sales. Just be real. If that sounds hard, wait. Most people don’t need to post more. They need more experience first. Good luck!